A difficult period followed for L’Eau Vive and its new director. Unable to continue his studies at Saulchoir, he started working on a PhD thesis on Aristotle at the Institut Catholique de Paris. At the same time, he organized a stay at the Quebec City seminary to become ordained as a priest in that diocese. He was then to come back to Paris to continue as director of L'Eau Vive, while acting as chaplain for Canadian students in Paris. But things didn’t turn out that way. Tensions between the Dominicans and the young director ran high. In June 1956, Jean Vanier was asked by Rome to leave L’Eau Vive, to never again become involved in a similar project, and to go spend not just a few weeks but a few years in a seminary before being ordained.

The history of this great blue-eyed man is a testament to his astonishing ability to redirect himself toward the future, toward life. It also shows his humility, without a doubt one of his most striking characteristics. Gone from L’Eau Vive, Jean did not know what to do. He spent a year in the abbey of Notre Dame de Bellefontaine. While continuing to work on his thesis, he tried to see whether his calling would lead him to Quebec, to become a priest, or if God was calling him to follow the teachings of his spiritual guide, Father Thomas. Under pressure from the Church, Father Thomas had isolated himself in a Trappist abbey near Rome. Finally, Jean decided against becoming a priest in order to stay near his mentor.

Contrary to what would be expected of a 28-year-old man, Jean saw this new stage in his life not as the end of a dream but rather as a sign pointing to something more important. L’Eau Vive had prepared him for new perspectives in his spiritual quest. Having to leave the community and renounce ordination helped him get closer to Jesus. More than 50 years later, Jean says of himself, “I was forced to continue to search and to believe that life would always be stronger than death.”